Band news, rumors, and outright lies:

Good god, what month is this? Where did that hand come from? Where the hell am I? In other words: News!

(1) First off, we’d like to welcome our new bassist, Matt Mayo! He’s a fine chap. Much finer than that other chap, Andy Jenson, who used to play bass with us. Much easier on the eyes, I mean. If you’re into hillbilly pharmacists with a bacon fetish. If that’s your thing. I mean it takes all sorts, man. All sorts.

Andy parted from the band amicably after recording the new album with us. Which is why all his basslines on the new album will sound like ducks quacking and dogs farting. Because we replaced them with those sounds. But SHH! Don’t tell him! It’s a surprise!

Sincerely, though, we wish Andy well with his other band, The Big O Show, and we hope that he now has the time to get plenty of beauty-sleep. Because boy, does he need it!

Matt is a longtime friend of pretty much everyone in the band. He used to play bass with Congress of a Crow, and I think each of us have played in a band or two with him at some point over the vast eons of our vampiric immortal lives. Our sparkling vampiric immortal lives.

So that’s where we’re at now. We’re rehearsing and learnin’ Matt the songs.

(2) The album! I’m happy to say that things are moving along and sounding great. We’ve finished recording everything but a few of the vocal tracks, and I’ve started doing some of the final mixes. Actually, I just finished mixing the first song of the batch last night, and it shaped-up into one tasty biscuit. Seriously. It sounds so golden that gold actually poured from my ears as I listened, and then I started crying, and my tears were made of gold. Gorgeous gorgeousness. George! Gorgeous George.

I can’t wait for y’all to hear it.

That’s all for now!